P. D. Q. Bach
is a fictional composer invented by musical satirist "Professor" Peter Schickele. In a running gag that Schickele has used in a four-decade-long career, he performs "discovered" works of this forgotten member of the Bach family. He has recorded this music on the Vanguard and Telarc labels. Schickele's music combines parodies of musicological scholarship, the conventions of Baroque and classical music, and elements of slapstick comedy.
The name "P. D. Q." is a parody of the three-part names given to some members of the Bach family that are commonly reduced to initials, such as C. P. E., for Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach. PDQ
is an initialism for "pretty damn quick" (or the bowdlerized "pretty darn
quick") in vernacular English.
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PDQ BACH TICKETS
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"Biography"
Among the many "facts" about the composer's life in Schickele's fictional biography of the composer,
[1] we find the following:
P.D.Q. Bach was born in Leipzig on April 1, 1742
In 1755, P.D.Q. Bach was an apprentice of the inventor of the musical saw, Ludwig Zahnstocher (German for "toothpick"). In 1756, P.D.Q. Bach met Leopold Mozart and advised him to teach his son Wolfgang Amadeus how to play billiards. Later on, P.D.Q. Bach went to St. Petersburg to visit his distant cousin Leonhard Sigismund Dietrich Bach (L.S.D. Bach), whose daughter Betty Sue bore P.D.Q. a child.
Finally, in 1770, P.D.Q. Bach started to write music, mostly by stealing melodies from other composers.
P.D.Q.'s final words, which were spoken to Betty-Sue Bach, were "Time, gentlemen." The time was exactly eleven o'clock on the evening of May 5, 1807
P.D.Q. Bach's grave was marked "1807–1742". The reverse order of the dates has led to some controversy, but Prof. Schickele calls the theory that P.D.Q. Bach lived his life backwards, Merlin-like, "too fanciful to merit serious consideration" and insists that the marking on the grave was a "...transparent attempt [by] the Bach family to make it appear that P.D.Q. could not possibly have been sired by Johann Sebastian, who died in 1750." [2] Nevertheless, when listing the dates in sheet music or program notes, he always includes a question mark: "(1807-1742)?"
P.D.Q. Bach's Epitaph reads [as requested by his cousin Betty Sue Bach and written by the local doggerel catcher]:
:In the "original" German:
::Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich;
::Im Leibe dick, an Sünden reich.
::Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt,
::Weil es uns dünkt er sei verreckt.
:Translated:
::Here lies a man with sundry flaws
::And numerous Sins upon his head;
::We buried him today because
::As far as we can tell, he's dead.
The translation above is provided by Schickele in the "biography". However, parts of the translation are inaccurate (likely intentionally). The last two lines are reasonably accurate, the final one reading literally "
we conjecture [that] he's stretched out"; the first two, however, read more as follows:
::Here lies a man entirely without equal,
::Fat in body, rich in sins.
In preconcert lectures, Schickele has revealed that P.D.Q. Bach had a substantial influence on
Beethoven's deafness: Beethoven came to dread P.D.Q. Bach and his music so greatly that Beethoven resorted to stuffing coffee grounds into his ears whenever he saw P.D.Q. Bach coming his way.
Before performing the
Concerto for Horn and Hardart, Schickele stated, though no documentary evidence existed, that the dance music of P.D.Q. Bach generally suggested that one of P.D.Q. Bach's legs was shorter than the other.
Music
Schickele describes P. D. Q. Bach as having "the originality of
Johann Christian, the arrogance of
Carl Philipp Emanuel, and the obscurity of
Johann Christoph Friedrich." The most distinguishing feature of P. D. Q. Bach's music, in the words of Schickele, is "manic plagiarism".
P. D. Q. Bach seldom wrote original tunes; for the most part he stole melodies from other composers and rearranged them in often funny ways. Also, P. D. Q. Bach's music uses instruments not often used in orchestras, such as the
tromboon,
slide whistle,
hardart,
lasso d'amore, left-handed sewer flute and
kazoo, as well as items not normally used as musical instruments, such as balloons, fog horns, and bicycles. His music also calls for unusual methods of playing traditional instruments, such as blowing through
double reeds by themselves (that is, detached from the instruments) throughout
Iphigenia in Brooklyn
. His parts for vocalists include coughing, snoring, sobbing, laughing and yelling.
P. D. Q. Bach's work pokes fun at many types of music, including Baroque, Romantic, modern,
country music (
Oedipus Tex
and
Blaues Gras
), and
rap (
Classical Rap
). The "Schickele" or "S." numbers whimsically assigned to P. D. Q. Bach's works parody musicologists' catalogues of famous composers, such as the
Köchel catalogue of
Mozart's works.
There is often a startling juxtaposition of styles within a single P. D. Q. Bach piece. The
Prelude to Einstein on the Fritz
, which alludes to
Philip Glass's opera
Einstein on the Beach
, provides an example. The underlying music is
J. S. Bach's first prelude from the
Well-Tempered Clavier
, but with each phrase repeated interminably in a
minimalist manner that parodies Glass's. On top of this mind-numbing structure is added everything from
jazz phrases to snoring to the chanting of a meaningless phrase ("Koy Hotsy-Totsy," alluding to the art film
Koyaanisqatsi
for which Glass wrote the score). Through all these mutilations, the piece never deviates from Bach's original harmonic structure.
The humor in P. D. Q. Bach music often derives from violation of audience expectations, such as repeating a tune more than the usual number of times,
resolving later than usual or not at all, unusual key changes, or sudden switches from
high art to
low art.
[3]
Schickele divides P. D. Q. Bach's musical output into three periods: the
Initial Plunge
, the
Soused Period
, and
Contrition
.
During the Initial Plunge, P. D. Q. Bach wrote the
Traumarai
for solo piano, an
Echo Sonata
for "two unfriendly groups of instruments", and a
Gross Concerto for Divers' Flutes, two Trumpets, and Strings
.
During the Soused (or Brown-Bag) Period, P. D. Q. Bach wrote a
Concerto for Horn & Hardart
, a
Sinfonia Concertante
, a
Pervertimento
, a
Serenude
, a
Perückenstück
, a Suite from
The Civilian Barber
{spoofing
Rossini's
The Barber of Seville
}, a
Schleptet
in E-flat major, the half-act opera
The Stoned Guest
{the character of "The Stone Guest" from
Mozart's
Don Giovanni
}, a
Concerto for Piano vs. Orchestra
,
Erotica Variations
{
Beethoven's
Eroica Variations
},
Hansel and Gretel and Ted and Alice
(an opera in one unnatural act) {
Humperdinck's
Hansel and Gretel
and the 1969 film
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice},
The Art of the Ground Round
{
Bach's
The Art of Fugue
}, a
Concerto for Bassoon vs. Orchestra
, and a
Grand Serenade for an Awful Lot of Winds and Percussion
.
During the Contrition Period, P. D. Q. Bach wrote the cantata
Iphigenia in Brooklyn
{
Gluck's
Iphigenia in Aulis
, etc.}, the oratorio
The Seasonings
{
Haydn's
The Seasons
},
Diverse Ayres on Sundrie Notions
, a
Sonata for Viola for Four Hands
, the chorale prelude
Should
, a
Notebook for Betty Sue Bach
{
Bach's
Notebook for Anna Magdalena Bach
and
Buddy Holly's "
Peggy Sue"}, the
Toot Suite
, the
Grossest Fugue
{
Beethoven's
Grosse Fuge
}, a
Fanfare for the Common Cold
{
Copland's
Fanfare for the Common Man
}, and the canine cantata
Wachet Arf!
{Bach's
Wachet auf
}.
He also composed the religious work
Missa Hilarious
(Schickele no. N
2O, N
2O being
nitrous oxide or "laughing gas"), which was found along with documents pertaining to his excommunication.
Performances
Schickele currently performs the music of P. D. Q. Bach in two different touring programs, both accompanied by soprano Michèle Eaton and tenor David Düsing.
P.D.Q. Bach: The Vegas Years
is performed with an orchestra, and includes
Oedipus Tex
, selections from
Art of the Ground Round
, and the cantata
Gott sei dank, daß heute Freitag ist ("Thank God It’s Friday")
.
P.D.Q. Bach & Peter Schickele: The Jekyll and Hyde Tour
is performed with piano accompaniment, and includes
Four Next-to-Last Songs
,
Shepherd on the Rocks, With a Twist
, and excerpts from
Little Notebook for "Piggy" Bach
.
Recordings
Albums
| Title
| Year
|
| Peter Schickele Presents an Evening with P. D. Q. Bach (1807-1742?)
| 1965
|
| An Hysteric Return: P. D. Q. Bach at Carnegie Hall
| 1966
|
| Report from Hoople: P. D. Q. Bach on the Air
| 1967
|
| The Stoned Guest
| 1970
|
| The Intimate P. D. Q. Bach
| 1974
|
| Portrait of P. D. Q. Bach
| 1977
|
| Black Forest Bluegrass
| 1979
|
| Liebeslieder Polkas
| 1980
|
| Music You Can't Get Out of Your Head
| 1982
|
| A Little Nightmare Music
| 1983
|
| Title
| Year
|
| 1712 Overture and Other Musical Assaults
| 1989
|
| Oedipus Tex and Other Choral Calamities
| 1990
|
| WTWP Classical Talkity-Talk Radio
| 1991
|
| Music for an Awful Lot of Winds and Percussion
| 1992
|
| Sneaky Pete and the Wolf
| 1993
|
| Two Pianos Are Better Than One
| 1994
|
| The Short-Tempered Clavier and other dysfunctional works for keyboard
| 1995
|
| P. D. Q. Bach and Peter Schickele: The Jekyll and Hyde Tour
| 2007
|
| Title
| Record Company
| Year
|
| The Wurst of P. D. Q. Bach
| Vanguard Records
| 1978
|
| The Dreaded P. D. Q. Bach Collection
| Vanguard Records
| 1996
|
| The Ill-Conceived P. D. Q. Bach Anthology
| Telarc Records
| 1998
|
| Title
| Year
|
| The Abduction of Figaro
| 1984
|
| P.D.Q. Bach in Houston: We Have a Problem!
| 2006
|
Awards
Four of the Telarc P.D.Q. Bach recordings received Grammy awards in the Best Comedy Recording category. These were the four albums released from 1989-1992.
[4] Schickele also received a Grammy nomination in the Best Comedy Album category in 1996 for his abridged audiobook edition of
The Definitive Biography of P.D.Q. Bach
.
[5]